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When the days come where you stare blankly into space and you get that overwhelming feeling of a mental burden pulling you down, when you feel like punching a wall just to feel the pain that keeps you alive, when everything and everyone around you doesn’t make sense anymore, when doing just about anything feels pointless, when you feel a sense that you’re just an irrelevant speck of dust in the universe, when you feel all alone, you’re not. Finding the will to survive and press on comes at the cost of voiding your natural state of emotions. Reacting to what and how you feel when you’re at your lowest is inevitable, and it poses as a challenge to battle impulsiveness and actions which produce drastic consequences.
As humans, we are all a medley of emotions and what life means to us. We keep friends who we enjoy the company of, we take a lover to share a life, we embrace our families, we do things and activities that makes us happy. Sometimes, these are not enough. To a sufferer, the only way out is, well, out. Offing yourself, ending your physical skin, releasing your soul. Yes, suicide. It makes perfect sense. Ending your pain, finally lifting the burden of life from your shoulders, quitting the dance with fate. It’s a way out, the easy one. But your story doesn’t have to end like that. There is no limit to how many chances to try again that you give yourself. Everyone says that there’s more to life, and there’s beauty in it, and they are not wrong. But that’s not what you want to hear. You want affirmation of the cause to continue in your life’s journey, a purpose that you can feel confident of, a path forward that makes it all better.
Anyone can tell you to get off your feet and keep on moving, for yourself and your loved ones, but only you as an individual can make the decisions. No one is going to give you a perfect epiphany to not let yourself die. Only you can, for yourself. It’s difficult, it’s painful, it’s an affliction of discomfort and mess. When you think you are ready to go, you’re not. There’s a flame still burning inside your body that wants to be bigger, stronger, brighter. Take a step back before you let impulsiveness consume you, and look at yourself in the mirror. There’s hope in you, and you know it too. You just have to reignite that flame burning in you, by giving yourself another chance at living. Those chances will never run out, and it may seem like a dead-end aspiration, but it’s what’s needed to slowly but surely find what you have been missing all this while, what can finally make you a person you are happy to be. Keep on trying, keep on taking unfamiliar paths. Keep on living.
SUICIDE IN SINGAPORE
From January 2020, suicide is no longer illegal in Singapore. Prior to this change of bill, attempting suicide will lead to an arrest and imprisonment of up to a year, a fine, or both. However, abetting or assisting another person in suicide is still illegal, and harshly punishable by law. This involves imprisonment of up to 10 years, and liable to a fine. This does not mean that Singapore is taking a step back at managing suicide attempts. It’s a movement to keep the peace of sufferers and suicidal victims, so that they can be guided to institutions for help, and receive the support they very much need in their times of great turmoil, without having to deal with the stress and counter-productive measures of an arrest or illegalities.
As a previous sufferer myself, and having been arrested before for attempting suicide, I can say that this new law is a much needed initiative to help these people who feel are at their life’s end get a proper support system in a way that involves treatment rather than unneeded aggression or adding more negative emotions during their specific period of depression and giving up. When I was arrested for attempting suicide before this new bill was passed, it was a terrible experience, having to be handcuffed and brought to a holding cell, and forcefully admitted to the Institute of Mental Health wards, where everything seemed forced and at that moment, not at all what I needed. I can safely vouch for this new system, that it is the correct way of handling with suicidal individuals. From my conversations with my therapist and the staff at the Institute of Mental Health, they have given me an insight on the next steps after someone is found out to want to take his or her own life. This would be immediate treatment and isolated care. Yes, those people are still somewhat forced to take on a healing process that, at that crucial time of mental mess is unable to make the right decisions for themselves. But it’s a great leap forward that will ultimately tone down their intentions, and make them feel better about life itself, by consulting with esteemed professionals.
From experience, counsellors, psychiatrists, and the various staff involved in dealing with suicide, are all selfless and they whole-heartedly care for their patients. The support system in Singapore for suicide is in a good state, and is able to streamline personalised treatment for each patient from all walks of life and experiences. The best situation is to stay in their wards for however long needed, and receive counselling and treatment, including the taking of medications daily. It’s daunting at first, having to live in an unfamiliar space, but getting professional help and guidance is optimal for recovery. I have made friends with such individuals, and some of them have created a new positive life for themselves, while some have relapsed from time to time. Ultimately, sufferers have to learn to make the decision firmly, that they want to get better. And these support groups, professionals, mental health volunteers, mental health awareness communities, all fall into place for a better life and future for its patients. As mentioned, the main crux of recovery lies deep within the individuals, but external help will assist in propelling those ambitions further, both medically as well as socially.
Suicide is prevalent in our society, even if it’s a minimum, because every single life matters. No one is going through the same exact thing as another, but what ties us together is the idea that life needs to have a purpose. Everyone deals with their emotional trauma and issues differently, but no one is kept in the dark. You just need to come out into the light and find yourself. Find what makes you, you. Find that spark that makes you want to dance in the rain and yell at the top of your voice on a high place with no one around you, and smile. Happiness and acceptance of who we are as people is important to create a life worth living. When things feel out of place, and when your mind is a complete mess, do yourself a favour and keep moving. Set a pace for healing, and find that balance between good and bad in your life, because when there’s no downs, you can never understand how good it feels to be up. Do it for your family, your friends, your lover, but most importantly, do it for yourself.
Samaritans Of Singapore: 1-767
A Word From A Space Between
Suicide is not something to take lightly. Many people are suffering from the idea of ending their lives and giving up. When you’re at your lowest and thinking of ending your pain, keep surviving because you have control over your life and we know you have the strength to move forward.
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